(My friend made this and If you guys comment I will give you the next chapter)

THINGS NOT TO DO AT HOGWARTS
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Number 48:: I am not the wicked witch of the west
Number 49:: Neither is Professor Umbridge

"Harry," Hermione cried, "you didn't? Please tell me you didn't!"

"I didn't." Harry smirked wickedly.

"Din' wha?" Ron asked, mouth full of food.

"Harry! Do you know how much trouble you’re going to be in?"

"I don't care."

"What did he do?" asked Seamus slightly annoyed.

"You should! That foul old creature could get you expelled! You'll be stuck with the Dursleys again!"

"I'll stay with Draco." Harry said pleasantly, seeming unfazed by the factthat he could be kicked out of Hogwarts. He really didn't care he just couldn't wait to see Umbridge's face.

"What did you do now, and why must I bail you out? Again." Draco asked slightly exasperatedly as he took a seat next to Harry. The rest of the school was rather used to the stunning andsudden truce between the Slytherin and Gryffindor houses, so Harry and Draco sitting together was routine now. No one, other than their closest friends knew the truth about the truce. Harry and Draco were (finally) dating. Both boys insisted on their friends being kind to one another and, surprisingly, they agreed.

"You love bailing me out." Harry laughed entwining his fingers with Draco's under the table.

"Gotta love that jail bait, Malfoy." Blaise grinned sitting next Ginny and pulling her into a kiss. Ron simply glared. He wasn't too fond of his sister (or his best mate) dating some creepy Slytherin git.

"Very funny." Harry smiled, eyes never leaving Draco's. They grinned stupidly at each other until-BAM!- the doors to the Great Hall flew open. Harry and many other students and teachers were shaking with silent laughter or trying to stifle theirloud giggles anyway.

Delores Umbridge was soaked head-to-toe in what smelled like Stink-Sap but was clear like water. She was simply towering in rage, her toad like face red and trembling slightly. Her eyes locked on Harry and she strode right for him. He couldn't suppress his mirth as she stood before him shaking a balled up piece of parchment.

"YOU!" she shrieked, pointing a fat finger at Harry. "YOU DID THIS! I KNOW IT WAS YOU-YOU LITTLE-"

"Delores," Dumbledoore said calmly, he stared at her and didn't even bother to glance at Harry, his blood boiled. "is there a problem here?"

"A PROBLEM?" she yelled in a high-pitched little girl voice. "OF COURSE THERE'S A PROBLEM YOU INCOMPITENT EXCUSE FOR A HEADMASTER! LOOK AT THE STATE OF ME!!"

Dumbledoore stared at her for a long moment. "I see, but why are you yelling about the Great Hall interrupting breakfast?"

"WHY AM I- WHY AM- IT WAS HIM HEADMASTER!" she cried pointing at Harry. "I KNOW IT WAS AND I ORDER HIM TO BE EXPELLED! EXPELLED!" she screamed, her voice cracking through three octaves in one sentence.Harry fought back the urge to cry with happiness.

"Hm, do you have any proof?" Dumbledoore asked in his calm voice and the entire school was delighted to see Umbridge turn a hideous shade of puce as she stared at the headmater incredulously.

"Proof? You want proof, Dumbledoore?" She whispered, now Harry was trulyenjoying himself."

"Naturally!" Albus beamed.

Umbridge opened and closed her mouth a few times before turning and striding from theGreat Hall. Dumbledoore looked around at his awed students and clapped his hands together.

"What are you all waiting for? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He smiled as he turned to walk back to the head table.

Harry was practically hysterical! He was wiping tears from his eyes along with his fellow students. He was leaning against Draco for support, who seemed to be leaning against him for support. The entire table seemed to be in a better mood and Harry smiled proudly when the laughter died down.

"What did you do Harry?" Neville asked tentatively.

"Yea Harry! Did you put another niffler in her office?" inquired Seamus.

Harry shook his head.

"Put up posters of centaurs on her walls with permanent sticking charm?" Pansy laughed, coming to sit next to Hermione's terribly stressed looking form.

Harry shook his head.

"Write her a love letter?" George stage-whispered.

Fred elbowed him. "Harry only writes love letters to ickle Draky-poo!" He cried.

Malfoy quickly pulled his wand and pointed it at the twins. "Ever call me that again and I will hex you into next week!"he threatened.

"It's true." Harry said solemnly. "I reserve all my undying love proclamations for you." he laughed.

Draco seemed to soften as he looked at Harry. He quickly pulled his hand from Harry's to lay it on his boyfriends knee. "Harry, what did you do to Umbridge?" he smiled, moving his hand up and down Harry's thigh. It had no effect, Harry was well immune to Draco's tactic but couldn't contain himself and spilled the beans anyway.

"I just sent her a letter telling what a horrible, disgusting, fat and bitchy woman she was." He said simply.

"Oh no, Harry James Potter,that isNOT all you did." Hermione snapped, while Harry just grinned.

"He also signed the letter with the name, Wicked Wicth of the West! Then, not satisfied with himself, he bewitched the parchment to shoot this foul smelling water and scream I'm melting, I'm melting! THEN," she huffed clearly she did not think it as funny as her class mates, "he decided it would be a great idea to have a little mini house pop out and hit Umbridge in the head, calling her the true wicked witch west and telling her to return Dorothy home! IT'S NOT FUNNY!" she cried as she looked around to see all her friends laughing.

"Where the hell did you think of that Potter?" Malfoy laughed as he held Harry close for support, draping his arms around his shoulders in an attempt not to fall of his chair.

"It's from a movie, a muggle movie!" Harry gasped clutching his sides.

"The Wizard of Oz has never seemed so kick ass!" Dean laughed.

For the rest of the week Harry was referred to as The Wicked Witch Of The West...

END of chapter 1

By: xerinxevolutionx

She has a Quizilla account so you cant find her here